Colin McIver sat back on his couch, in his fancy living room and took a long sip of his drink. What had love gotten him? Nowhere. He was alone, divorced, Llanview General wouldn’t hire him. And he needed to work. He loved medicine. It was killing him not to practice.

There was a knock on the door. He glanced at his watch. 9:00 pm. Who could it be? Lanie, to rub her nose in his misery?

“Go away!!” he yelled.

The knock got louder.

“Go the fuck away!!” he said raising his voice. Nothing. Good. Whoever it was, hopefully they were gone.

“Colin?” came a voice.

He looked up only to discover Nora Buchanan standing at the entrance to his living room. As he looked into her eyes he found they told them more than her lips ever had. She as genuinely worried for him. A bit attracted to him. She, for her part, was torn from knowing about his part in Lindsay’s hostage taking attempt yet grateful to him for saving her life.

“Go away Nora…” he said looking away.

“No,” said Nora definitely as she walked up in front of him, boldly sitting on the chair across from him. Typical Nora. She never gave anything a rest. It was one of the qualities he admired about her – her persistence. Her determination. Nora wasn’t a quitter.

“Then why are you here this late at night Nora?” he questioned taking another refreshing drink of the amber liquid in his glass.

Nora Buchanan bit her lip and playfully nodded her head, “Two reasons actually Colin,” noticing the top two buttons of his collar were undone in a casual fashion, yet while casual, it suggested intimacy between them as he made no attempt to button it.

“Number one being?”

“I just had a spat with Lindsay. She told me that while I was held a virtual prisoner here in your house you took pictures of me Colin…”

Colin shot out of his seat furious, “That’s a lie!!” he yelled.

“She said if it wasn’t for her, you would have taken advantage of me…” continued Nora.

“That lying bitch!” yelled Colin. He was thoroughly enraged, “No way! I would never have done that! You were my patient! I would never have violated that…trust…”

Nora bolted out of her seat and stood in front of Colin, reaching out, grabbing the angry man by his arms, finding herself wanting to soothe the man in front of her.

“Colin, it’s okay. I told her she was a lair. Look, we were fighting – I think Lindsay would have told me anything to hurt me…” her voice was smooth and as he looked into her trusting eyes, he felt his anger lesson.

And suddenly as they both looked into each other’s eyes the realized something could happen between them. If they let it.

Was it wrong of him to actually want to kiss the woman in front of him? A woman he had come to admire and respect?

Nora Buchanan bashfully bit her lip and looked away, at the ground. A part of her found his actions appalling – conspiring with Lindsay to hold her hostage and another part of her did find him attractive in a very sexual way. He was handsome – incredibly handsome with his best feature being his full, pouty lips. Lips she guiltily admitted to herself she wanted to kiss.

“I don’t like Lindsay,” said Colin hesitantly sitting back down. Nora, wanting to stay close to him sat down as well, on the floor at his feet.

“I don’t like her either. She ruined my marriage Colin and I want her to realize she can’t interfere with people’s lives – my life especially – like that,” said Nora resting back on her hands. Again, casual, hinting at intimacy.

He looked down at her, “Yeah, well, I was a fool to get involved in her scheme.”

“It was stupid Colin,” said Nora.

“Um…” he replied.

“Why did you do it? Why did you get involved in her scheme to hurt me?” asked Nora.

Colin shrugged his shoulders.

“Tell me please Colin. I want to know what makes you tick,” she admitted.

“For love,” he revealed, “Love. I’ll never understand what love is.”

“Love? I don’t understand,” said Nora with a quizzical look on her face.

“At the time I still loved Lanie. I didn’t want to lose her. Lindsay told me that she could win Bo back and Lanie would come back to me. I bought into it. I wanted to believe…someone…Lanie, yeah, Lanie. I wanted her to love me. Didn’t work. Lanie still left me,” said Colin in a rare display of honesty.

“For Bo,” said Nora wistfully. Sadly.

“You still love him,” said Colin looking down at her.

“He doesn’t love me now does he Colin?” said Nora, “Seems I had a bout of insanity and cheated on him. He can’t forgive me,” admitted Nora.

“Why did you cheat on him? You don’t seem like the cheating type,” said Colin finishing his drink, “And I would know.”

“Funny thing is, thanks to your drugs, I don’t remember,” said Nora, “And to be honest with you, I don’t want to. Bo told me I slept with Sam thinking he couldn’t give me a son.”

“Sam? Ewewew….” Said Colin making a face, “You don’t love Sam do you?”

“No. No I don’t. Sam says I do but I don’t. I feel friendship for him, nothing more. I guess I don’t remember this undying love Sam says we share,” said Nora bitterly.

“It’s better to fall in love than to be told who to love,” remarked Colin, “But then what do I know about love?”

“You tell me…” said Nora curious as to his answer.

And then it dawned on Colin. He was being honest, frank, and even open with Nora and it felt good.

“I don’t know what it is. I don’t. My dad died when I was a kid. My mom…she was rich. Sent me to boarding schools but every summer I’d come back for a gratuitous visit. That’s how I knew Lanie. She lived next door. We were childhood sweethearts – kind of. I mean when I was home she was the only girl for me. When I was at boarding school, I didn’t even know she existed. Women would come on to me…enticing me, and I didn’t care. I liked sex. It felt good. And they didn’t want any long-term commitments. I liked that too. Pretty soon though I had no idea what a commitment was,” explained Colin revealing a bit of his early years.

“Why are you a doctor then? That’s a commitment,” said Nora, “And you appear to be a good doctor.”

Colin shrugged his shoulders and stood up walking over to the bar pouring himself another drink. He motioned to Nora who declined. Then, not really knowing why, only finding the atmosphere between them warm and inviting, Colin started a fire in his fireplace.

“I love a challenge. I do. When I was a teenager in school, biology fascinated me. It started there I suppose, my passion for medicine. There’s always something new to discover. Another mystery to unlock. I like that challenge,” he admitted, pausing.

Nora cocked her head while watching him strike the match. Carelessly, he threw it onto the log, “There’s something else you want to tell me.”

The fire began, slow at first, smoldering on the wood.

“It’s corny,” he said sitting down next to the fireplace facing her.

“Not to me it isn’t,” prompted Nora.

“Being a doctor, it’s noble. It’s honorable. Doctors are so respected. Me? I’m a heal, but being a doctor, it lets me live out those values I’ve always wanted but I know I can’t attain,” he confessed.

Nora bit her lip, noticing her fire beginning to spread to the rest of the log, realizing her own attraction the sad, vulnerable man in front of her was growing as well.

“What? What are you thinking?” asked Colin realizing Nora was lost in her own thoughts.

“Maybe that’s why I’m a lawyer. It’s honorable. Noble. Maybe that’s how I live out what I can’t attain,” she remarked.

“How so?” he said, “I can’t imagine you being a cad…like me.”

“Oh, I’m not perfect Colin. I’m not. I cheated on my first husband, Hank Gannon, with his brother, RJ. And then Bo. I was so determined to be a good wife to him. Only I’m told I cheated on him too with Sam…” admitted Nora feeling comfortable enough to reveal her more personal thoughts to him.

The fire covered the entire log but the flames were still small.

“You, Nora Buchanan, a cheater?” he playfully quipped.

“Shocking, huh? Call it my dirty little secret,” she playfully responded.

Colin took a sip of his drink glancing into her eyes, “I guess we have more in common than we thought. We’re both in noble professions, yet we can’t do the right thing by the people we say we love. Staying faithful…” his voice drifted off.

“If I had a chance with Bo, I’d take it, but I don’t and I’m not going to push it. I don’t remember why or how I felt so desperate so as to cheat on him, I don’t. I call it insanity but honestly, Bo didn’t stick around either, first finding comfort with Lindsay and now Lanie, I’ll deal with it. I’ve lost him, I accept it. It’s just hard to move on when I can’t remember how I lose him…!!” defended Nora passionately.

Colin noted how Nora had a knack for words. To him, expressing his heart had always been awkward. Guys weren’t actually suppose to care about women, were they? And he was finding this concept that he had grown up with was becoming a bit of a myth.

“I lost Lanie because I couldn’t stay faithful,” he humbly said.

“Why Colin? Do you have a sexual hang up? Do you always gotta’ have it or did Lanie push you away?” asked Nora staring directly at him as if his answer met life and death.

“I won’t lie Nora. I like having sex. I like the soft feel of a woman’s naked body on mine. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Do I have a hang up? I don’t know. Lanie at her worst is high-minded, self-righteous and a hypocrite. It’s a big turn off. Besides…” he paused abruptly.

“Go on…” pushed Nora.

“Lanie wasn’t a very passionate lover. She was cold. Distant. I could never turn her on like I could other women,” he finished.

The flames jumped as if some unknown force prompted them. Sparked them. Nora grew closer to Colin, stopping just outside of his sphere of influence. Their eyes searched each other out, interested as they discovered things about themselves and each other they didn’t realize were a part of them.

“Lanie didn’t want children. I did. I still do. I want to be a father,” he added.

“Why?”

“I just do. I want to do one thing right in my life,” he said lowering his head.

“And you think that’s fatherhood?” whispered Nora.

He quickly looked up and leaned into her, “I want to be a husband, in love with his wife. Devoted to her. And I want to inspire in her warmth, passion. That’s what I want.”

“Do you think it’s attainable or out of your reach?” asked Nora realizing she was getting lost in his eyes.

The flames began to cackle, growing to their highest point yet.

“I don’t know. But I want to try. I’ll never know if I don’t try…” he whispered seductively.

It grew silent. Colin and Nora slide closer to each other and Nora allowed him to put his arms around her, resting his head on his chest.

“Colin?”

“Yeah?”

“I want that too. I want to be a wife in love with her husband. I want to inspire devotion. Passion. Friendship. Respect,” she said softly.

Colin brought his hand up to her neck and titled it so she looked directly into his eyes.

“I’ve wanted to hold you like this for quite a long time,” he admitted.

“I’ve missed being in a man’s arms,” added Nora finding her curiosity over Colin winning out over her common sense.

He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers, turning the motion into a full-blown kiss. The flames in the fireplace gave off a tremendous amount of heat as they began to blaze out of control.

TO BE CONTINUED...